Mr Officer, she stole my heart
by Thalassina
Summary: The highly criminal gang "The Dragons" gets the most out of officer Henry "Hiccup" Haddock. It's time he gets a partner in crime. Young officer Astrid Hofferson appears to be on the lookout for a new job... And Berk might just be the place to be. [OS] [Hiccstrid] [AU]


**It's been loong. But I had this thing uncompleted on my laptop for a very long time and I wanted to finish it. At first I wanted it to be multi-chaptered, but I kinda lost ideas and interest... So it's a oneshot now. (But I have some multi-chaptered stuff going on already, I only want to finish it before I post it. Might take a while, as it does with all of my work...)**

 **Anyway, here you go.**

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"This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery."

Police officer Henry "Hiccup" Haddock glances at the rear-view mirror. The young man on the back seat shoots him a glare but Hiccup ignores it.

"My village. In a word? Sturdy. It's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new." He shoots another look to the grim-faced figure behind him, noticing that the man is pretending not to listen, but Hiccup knows he is. The man, barely an adult, is very precisely aware of why they had to rebuild every edifice. It's the reason for why he is sitting on the back seat of a police car in the first place.

"We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have..." Hiccup makes a pause to gesture to his car passenger, "dragons. Isn't that what you call yourselves? It totally fits though. Minus the flying, maybe. And the coolness. Or should I rather be saying, hotness?" He knows without looking that the other man is starting to get annoyed of his talking. They always are. He'd be.

"Maybe this is our lucky day," Hiccup continues, turning right onto another road, "maybe you will have the privilege of telling us where your nest is. The nest of dragons."

The Dragons. A criminal gang of fire-laying morons, of who some aren't morons at all. Sneaky. Swift-footed. Numerous. Especially numerous. They managed to burn down the whole town (he doesn't even know why it's always called a village) within a short amount of time and approximately robbed it of half of its households. Berk's inhabitants, though, are just glad there were no deaths yet.

Everyone calls the Berkians vikings. They're tough, stubborn, and belligerent. They're not giving up that easily. Hiccup, however, just can't really get into their minds. He's more the type for peaceful mediation, and maybe that's where he got his nickname from. He's a Hiccup. But maybe it's just his stupid cousin Snotlout who gave that name to him years ago. Although Snotlout, along with most people of Berk, didn't get the best name himself. But that is Berk. Frankly, Hiccup wonders if there is some toadstool growing under the houses, making them all go crazy.

"And if you take a look to your left," Hiccup says in his best tour guide voice, "you can see Berk's jailhouse. Take in its outside thoroughly, you'll probably get to see it rarely. But no worries, I've been told that the inside is very... decent. But you will presumably learn that yourself soon."

The man on the back seat slightly shifts a bit. Hiccup resists the urge to roll his eyes. All bark but no bite. At first they're bragging about how no one could ever bring them down, but once they're finally caught they tend to become all nervous and subdued. That's the thing about gang members. In groups they're cheeky and bold. But when it comes to facing people like Hiccup on their own, they're suddenly small.

"What's your name?" Hiccup asks, heading towards the precinct.

The man suddenly is all chin up, chest out. "I'm Hookfang."

Hiccup almost laughs. He has to admit, he loves the Dragons' names sometimes. A few days ago they've had in a woman called Meatlug. His colleague Fishlegs still doesn't shut up about how she is actually a rather good poetess.

"Nice to meet you, Hookfang."

"Shut up, pig."

"Wow, watch the language," Hiccup says wryly and resists the upcoming urge to roll his eyes. He turns onto Berk's precinct's parking lot, leading the handcuffed man, who is seriously calling himself Hookfang, towards the building. Once they're inside, somebody takes the man off Hiccup, and finally he can get himself the latte he's been dreaming about all the way from where he arrested Hookfang.

As soon as he is finally sitting at his desk, sipping at his latte, Snotlout already rolls over on his chair and leans towards Hiccup.

"I've heard they're making somebody chief investigator," he informs his cousin in a low voice.

"Snotlout, we have a chief investigator." Hiccup still thinks it's his father's role as mayor of Berk that made Hiccup fall into this position.

"Yeah, but there's gonna be another."

Hiccup's eyes widen. "I'll get a partner?"

"Hiccup gets a partner?" Suddenly two of Berk's most hyperactive cops are standing next to his desk, faces curious and with that ever present flicker of insanity in their eyes. Ruffnut and Tuffnut, twins and the exhibit A for ADHD people.

"My dog got a partner last week," Ruffnut barges in with a smug grin on her face.

"Yeah," Tuffnut adds with the same look on his, "and they're having little dog babies soon."

Hiccup rolls his eyes. "Not that kind of partner, guys."

Of course they don't bother listening to a word he says, already fighting over the empty desk at the window. It has once been the desk of the department's Captain, Gobber Smith, until he moved into the newly renovated office at the opposite side of the hallway. Now its only function is for the twins to have something to fight over (despite the fact that they have their own nice desks, but as if that would actually matter to them).

The time until noon is paperwork. Hiccup hates it. This is something his father likes to do, but for Hiccup it's wasted time he could have used to work on the new jet propulsion of his black Harley. If he actually gets a partner, he could maybe get them to do the paperwork for him, at least a part of it. He sighs and starts to sort another stack of paper.

If he's being honest, it's about time he gets some help. As embarrassing as it is, they'll never close the Dragons case if it's only the five of them in Berk, for the Dragons aren't the only problem they have to solve. There are of course your typical burglars and even homicides every now and then (not often, fortunately, but also unfortunately, because then Berk would have to open another precinct for special detectives and put Hiccup and his colleagues off these horrible cases).

It's not long after noon when Snotlout suddenly bursts in, eyes wide and sparkling. "Guys!"

Hiccup barely looks up from the report he's writing, but his cousin goes on anyway.

"Guys, listen, there's this maddening hot blonde in front of Gobber's office. I swear, if she was any hotter, she'd burn!"

Tuffnut hits him with a ball of paper. "Did you talk to her?"

"I bet he wasn't manly enough," Ruffnut teases, whereupon Snotlout puffs his chest out, announcing he's going to hook up with her now.

But when he turns around to – in Hiccup's opinion – embarrass himself in front of a woman he already feels sorry for, he bounces into a big belly. It belongs to Gobber, his peg-leg slightly kicking Snotlout in the shin, making the other man step back instantly.

"The only thing ye're goin' te hook up with is your work, Jorgenson." Gobber watches as Snotlout goes back to his desk, pretending to do what he's told. But Hiccup knows he's only waiting for the Captain to return to his office, so that he can continue to be a pain in the "maddening hot blonde's" ass.

Gobber turns to Hiccup. "My Office. Now." Hiccup gets up with a frown, pondering about what he did this time. Probably his dad finally found out that Toothless, as he fondly named his Harley, is not registered. Something his mayor mind can't bare.

The Captain's office is less an office than a storage room for every this and that found lying around at the precinct or confiscated from prisoners. If people lost the remains of their favorite coffee mug they broke last week, they go looking for it in Gobber's office. If nobody comes to search, Gobber uses to call these things his own after a few weeks and tinkers about with it during his breaks.

So it is to no surprise that, after he followed Gobber into the room, Hiccup almost sits down on a yak made of glue sticks, a copy of "Twilight", and the leaves from a fake plant colored yellowish-gray. Hiccup takes the curious yak from his chair and it isn't until he sat that piece of art on a nearby shelf that he notices there is a third person in the room, standing in a corner, looking up from an old coffee maker turned into a stapler (Hiccup has no idea how Gobber had managed to make that thing work).

Hiccup finds himself staring into the sky in form of a pair of eyes on the most beautiful face he's ever seen.  
There is a reaction in these eyes at the sight of him, but only for a split second.

"Sit down" Gobber says from behind his piled up desk and shoves several screws, tongs, and stacks of paper aside, pulls a file out of the mess and opens it.

"Let's make this short" Gobber announces and folds his hands over the file he doesn't spare a second glances to. Hiccup assumes he only opened it for him to look professional. "Mr. Haddock," he approaches Hiccup, which sounds remotely odd since he never before called Hiccup by his last name, not even at work, "you an' Ms Hofferson here will work together from now on."

Hiccup glances over to the young women beside him, probably not much older than himself. Her blonde hair is neatly braided over her left shoulder. Under her blazer she wears a light blouse, her skirt is not short but short enough to allow a nice view on her long, slender legs she'd crossed, and her feet disappear in plain shoes with just the right amount of heels to look professional but decent. Her sky-like eyes shine determined as she turns her head towards Hiccup. She is about to say something but Gobber cuts her to it.

"Ms Hofferson, Mr. Haddock will show ye the precinct and will answer all of yer questions. I have paperwork te do, which leaves ye as partners an' as dismissed. Any more questions?"

 _Gobber Smith, ladies and gentlemen_ , Hiccup thinks as he shakes his head.

"No questions, Mr. Smith" the woman answers. "Thank you for employing me and giving me the chance to–"

"Call me Gobber" Gobber interrupts her, reaching for her hand and giving it a sloppy shake.

With a small frown, she follows Hiccup out of the room. Before he closes the door, he shouts, "See ya, _Mr. Smith_!", only receiving a lackadaisical groan.

Grinning, he faces his new partner in crime who is still frowning. "Don't worry, he's always like that." The lines on her forehead disappear and Hiccup soon finds himself staring at her. Blushing, he runs a hand through his hair, trying to cover up his awkwardness as, after the new situation back in the office subsides, he suddenly notices how close he is standing to a pretty girl, one of the things happening rarely in his life. Hence, the upcoming stuttering.

"I – uhm – well, err, we-welcome to Berk, then" he gets out which makes his blush even worse. Two minutes ago he was able to speak normally. Why not now? _Great job_ , he tells himself. _Well done, Hiccup_. Now she's likely cursing herself for applying for this job in the first place when the only thing she gets is a grumpy boss and the most awkward and unprofessional co-worker ever.

He probably is imagining things by now but he can swear the corners of her lips are twitching.

"Thanks" she answers, and Hiccup is confused for a moment until he remembers that he actually said something to her between all his stuttering.

She holds out her hand. "Astrid Hofferson."

"Hicc– uhm, Henry Haddock. You can call me Hiccup." And to her raised eyebrow he adds, "Long story."

As their eyes lock properly for the first time, they shake hands maybe a little longer than necessary.

"Come on," Hiccup says and clears his throat, "let's get to work."

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 **Well, that's it from me for now. I'll leave the rest to your imagination. Have a cookie and leave me a review with what you think about this (or anything at all)? :)**


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